This has become my comfort read. I have read/listened to this book 3 times in the past year. I love this story so much. I also recommend the graphic audio edition, the performances are great and I love the main narrator. The only qualm I have is that Gwyn and Emerie’s voices should have been switched. It really does feel like you’re listening to a movie! This one had less of the things that were a bit cringey in previous graphic audios for the earlier books- the literal growling from the males when they got mad and the noises during bedroom time. It was too much and cringey! But this one eases up on those things and is great.

This story was stunning. Such a wonderful and unexpected story about mental health, depression, anger, grief and forgiveness. I’ve really enjoyed the other books in this series, but this book is different. It’s deeper than the others. The light shone on trauma and the unconditional love between friends that accepts the good and bad parts of you was beautiful. The friendships between Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie were lovely. Even outside of the relationships and emotional aspects, the action parts of the plot were so cool! Loved the Valkyrie women’s army formation and the Deathly Hallows- like Dread Trove items. Nesta’s story will stick with me.

The story starts out a couple of months after A Court of Wings and Ruin. Nesta is spending the court’s money, getting wasted nightly and is generally an hot mess a and is basically sent to Cassian boot camp. Where she has combat training in the mornings and works at the library in the afternoons. She’s pissed about it but that sounds like an amazing arrangement? I get an in house military expert personal trainer and I get to work at the library and my rent is covered?! Sign me up! But our girl Nesta has been through a lot and is hurting.

I love that Nesta is SUCH A PILL and Cassian is into it. They truly are ‘opposites attract’ and SJM writes their chemistry beautifully. I love them as a couple. There’s a mirroring of Nesta and Cassian’s relationship to Rhysand and Feyre’s, but is still wholly unique and its own. They both had the bargain that caused them to work with one another. They were both slow burns but in their own ways. Feyre and Nesta both had to go on their own healing journeys of self discovery before they were able to accept the love Rhys and Cassian wanted to give them. Nesta and Cassian weren’t instalove, but they did have an attraction quickly and slowly bonded emotionally. I love that with both couples they accept all parts of one another, the good and the bad. And they aren’t afraid to embrace the dark parts. Nesta dealt with her grief and anger and Cassian treated her as an equal and also had compassion and didn’t give up on her. A+ partner!

This book is such a lovely spotlight on womens’ trauma. Nesta, Gwyn, and Emerie have all been violated in similar and also different ways. I love the breathing techniques and mindfulness practices they do together. They all have their own healing journeys they’ve been on and once they all become friends they heal together and become strong and fierce women. 

Nesta and her friends loving smutty books! Gwyn and Emerie are such well rounded and developed characters. I am HERE for Gwyn and Azriel! His shadows are comfortable with her and she is the most comfortable with him out of other males. They are both determined and have a quiet strength. I also love that among Nesta’s friends becomes the house itself. So expected and sweet! I love that Nesta makes her own found family like Feyre did.

The Valkyrie training was so cool and one of my favorite parts of the book! I appreciated that it took time and none of them were just natural athletes at first. They all keep at it and were dedicated to practicing and getting better.

Nesta being a dancer is such a fun quality! It was nice to see Nesta be talented at something that is typically labeled as softer than her hard edges and warrior training.

Side note: Rhys keeping the danger of Feyre’s pregnancy from her seemed out of character.. I thought they were past this?! That seemed out of character and also, Feyre needed to know?!

Ok I have strong feelings about this- I ship Azriel with Gwyn. His shadows are comfortable with her! I agree with others that her getting re-gifted Elain’s gift is crummy but it was not intended that way. I think Azriel really saw Gwyn a little differently in that moment and decided she would enjoy the necklace. I think they are both fierce and have endured in their own ways and would be an amazing couple. I feel like Azriel and Elain both think the other is pretty but don’t have much in common outside of that.Gwyn sings and Azriel is a shadow singer !!!

In sum, Nesta is my favorite hot mess and love the story of her healing journey and found her so interesting. Her ending felt earned and profound.

Favorite quotes from the book (there’s so many good ones!):

• “ Keep reaching out your hand”

• “This book is about a book”

• “Perhaps in voicing those truths, they'd given them wings. And sent them soaring into the open sky above.”

• “I acknowledge these thoughts and am letting them go.”

• “Nest inhaled an eighth time. I am focusing on my breathing. These thoughts exist, and I am letting them pass me by. Nesta took another breath. Forced her mind to think only of her breathing.”

• “Your story is worth telling.”

• “So Nesta could try. Right now. She’d face this fire.”

• “She lifted the lantern higher and blew out its flame. Let the darkness sweep in. Embrace it. “I’m not afraid”, she whispered into it. “You are my friend, and my home. Thank you for sharing this with me.” 

• “Climb the mountain.”

• “ Gwyn whispered, “I am the rock against which the surf crashes.” Nesta straightened at the words, as if they were a prayer and a summons. Gwyn lifted the blade. “Nothing can break me.”

• “You’re quick off the mark” (Nesta is TERRIBLE for this and yet I laughed so hard)